• May 9, 2018
  • Joseph DeJonge

(1) First, recognise that there are two different ways of saying "No":


“No.” | “No. Thank you, though.” | “Too busy. I’ll pass.”

With Whom

  • - Close teammates, friends, those who know how often you say yes
  • - People with whom you have little or no personal connection

How Often

- About 25% of all oppotunities to say "No"


“Help me undertsand...” | “Let’s talk about this...”

With Whom

  • - Bosses, customers, leaders: Those who direct your actions
  • - Network teammates: Those in the same company, group or team but not tied to your daily routine

How Often

- About 75% of all oppotunities to say "No"


Regularly, direct no’s account for only a quater of your opportunities that needs push back, but that’s where most of us spend our time. Becasue these are comfortable no’s, almost fun and no risk attached. Your goal should be to invest whatever you have saved into Indirect No’s.

(2) Secondly, treat Indirect No’s as an oppotunity to change a relationship, to build mutual respect.

DO NOT focus on getting rid of the work you have just been handed. That will only make things bad foryour reputation. Instead, focus on how your response this time will create future expectations – yours and theirs. Take the indirect apparach to manage the overall flow of to-do’s from these individuals.

DO focus on the conversation.

Control what you can, and forget the rest.

You can change the one on one.

You can change how you react.